Reflections on 10 Years of Life in the UK

Today is a huge milestone for me. 10 years ago today, I moved to the UK!

I got off a plane at Manchester airport, admitted defeat at the baggage carousel as the airline lost all four of my checked bags, and went through passport control for the first time as a UK resident.

10 years. An entire decade spent living abroad.

It took me a long time to write this post (short as it is). This is such an emotional moment for me, and I’ve been overwhelmed with my feelings about it. I’m intensely proud of myself – I’ve achieved so many amazing things in the last 10 years. I’m happy, excited, and filled with pride. But I also feel sadness, anger, and grief. These negative feelings are rare these days, but now and then they do pop up.

Here are my reflections on this emotional day.

My life here looks nothing like I expected it to look 10 years ago when I stepped off that plane.

I can’t make this post without mentioning the man waiting for me at Manchester T1 arrivals, with a homemade sign saying “Welcome Home Wife!” I truly loved him, with all my heart, and I never would have set out on this path if it wasn’t for him. My life in this country will always be intertwined with our story, even though that story has long since finished and that chapter of my life is firmly closed.

If I were to go back in time 10 years, with hindsight, I’m not sure if I would make the same decision. But I have never regretted it. No matter how dark things got, the decision to follow my heart to this country is one I simply can’t regret. It was one of the most pivotal moments, which set me on the path I now know I was meant to walk.

When people ask me what brought me to the UK or why I moved, I usually say, “oh, originally I moved to be with my ex, but we’re not together anymore.” It will always be a part of my story, even though I’ve now spent more time here on my own than I spent with him.

10 years ago, I was so excited to start our new chapter together. I never imagined that I’d be writing a post like this at age 34, divorced and on my own. The loss of the future I’d planned for myself was painful, and I grieved it for a long time. But I’m still here, I made it through, and am writing this post today.

I’m very proud of the life I’ve created for myself.

I have rebuilt my life here, piece by painful piece, into one that I love. I am so proud of myself for doing that. I am so proud of myself for not just surviving, but thriving. I am so proud of myself for fighting for my Indefinite Leave to Remain (permanent residency), and never giving up. I am so proud of myself for taking a leap of faith to move abroad again, to Australia and then New Zealand, on my own. I am so proud of myself for pursuing my dream career in travel content, for pivoting to becoming a freelance travel writer, for settling down again and restarting my life again in York. Today, I am proud just to have made it to 10 years.

Even after 10 years, I still think York is the best city in the world.

Of course I’m biased. But after a decade living in the most beautiful city in the world, how could I not be?! York is the best. York is home to me. Even after 10 years here, I still gaze in awe at the Minster. I still love cutting through the charming snickelways, that I now know like the back of my hand. I love the weird and the wonderful parts of life in this city. I am so grateful to call this city my home. I love it so fiercely. I can’t imagine living anywhere else in this country.

I love that Yorkshire is home to me.

I love how I’m still finding new places to visit, new routes to hike, new things to experience. After a decade, you’d think I’d have done it all – but far from it. One of my favorite parts of spending the last decade living in Yorkshire is that I have so many favorite places. I love that there are places that I revisit each season or each year, that I know where all the good free parking spots are, that I can not just explore new places but love the familiar ones. Yorkshire truly is God’s Own Country, and I’m blessed to be here.

Sometimes I feel like I’ll never fit in anywhere.

I truly no longer belong in the US. I’ve only been back three times in the last decade. My last trip home really showed that my connection to my home country has faded, and is tied more strongly to my family and friends there. Minneapolis will always be my hometown, I will always love it. But I don’t fit in there, I’ve been gone for too long.

Equally, I don’t feel like I’ll ever really fit in in the UK. I’ll always be an outsider, a second-class citizen. Brits can be particularly pointed in their passive-aggressive microaggressions, ensuring I feel different and like an “other,” always. It rarely bothers me anymore, as it’s a normal part of life here. But when I’m feeling particularly sensitive, it can still sting.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I felt so free in Australia and on my travels. It didn’t matter where I was from or where I lived when I was sleeping in the bush in a Nissan X-Trail under the stars. There was no one to ask and no one to judge. It was just me and the open road, and I could be whoever I wanted to be. It was a type of freedom I don’t know if I’ll experience anywhere else.

I have changed so much over the last decade.

I can’t imagine my life, and the person I’d be, if I hadn’t have made the decision to follow my heart and move abroad. It has defined my personality and my life for the last 10 years. When I was traveling and people would ask where I’m from, I’d always say, “I’m from the US, but I live in the UK.” I really believe I have grown into the person I’m meant to be, growth which has come from my decision to move abroad and the resilience I developed over the last decade.

I didn’t expect the life and future I found when I stepped off that plane 10 years ago. However, it’s not the destination but the journey that matters.

And what a journey it’s been! 🥹

Thank you to everyone, online and offline, who has welcomed me, supported me, and loved me through the journey 🙏

Here’s to the next decade of adventures across the pond 🇬🇧❤️

Have you ever moved abroad? Share your experiences in the comments!

You might also like my posts:

6 Years in England: Then and Now

5 Years in England: Why I Love Living in York

Celebrating 4 Years in England: On the Silver Lining of UK Travel

3 Years Living in England: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

What I’ve Learned About British Culture After 2 Years Living in England

15 Harsh Truths About Living in England

13 Tips for Surviving Life Abroad